HUMOR Thread!!!
- agnostic
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!
A few years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs.
Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs.
PLEASE don't let Kevin Bacon die!!!
-Bill Murray
Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs.
PLEASE don't let Kevin Bacon die!!!
-Bill Murray
Risk is the price that you never thought you'd have to pay.
I refuse to embrace schizophrenia as a survival mechanism.
I refuse to embrace schizophrenia as a survival mechanism.
- dru708
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- DRP270
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!
A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of lipstick. The cashier says, "That'll be $1.49," and the duck replies, "Just put in on my bill."
This is an example of the lame crap that comes to my inbox
.
This is an example of the lame crap that comes to my inbox




- toddler81
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!
DRP270 wrote:A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of lipstick. The cashier says, "That'll be $1.49," and the duck replies, "Just put in on my bill."
This is an example of the lame crap that comes to my inbox.
That's a series...
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DECmpUJdgm-g&ved=0ahUKEwjc3uKo0P_SAhVE7yYKHearAfsQtwIIQjAH&usg=AFQjCNFTLVUL-_QhOxaa4GJFL6nhphyfzg
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BU GOLD LIBERTADS
1/20: 2011
1/10: 1994,2003
1/4: 1992,93
1/2: 1991
1998 SILVER PROOF LIBERTAD FRACTIONALS (1/20,1/10,1/4)
2007 08 15-pres kangaroos on card

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1/20: 2011
1/10: 1994,2003
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1/2: 1991



- PeacePeople
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- toddler81
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!
Never had a DUI but if I did I imagine it would go something like this...
Cop: You drinking?
Me: You buying?
Cue laughter...
then handcuffs!
Cop: You drinking?
Me: You buying?
Cue laughter...
then handcuffs!

$25 off Brooklinen Sheets
https://share.brooklinen.com/x/RdX4ZK
Get $10 free at Coinbase!
https://www.coinbase.com/join/595fcda9feff9f014857eb6e
BU GOLD LIBERTADS
1/20: 2011
1/10: 1994,2003
1/4: 1992,93
1/2: 1991
1998 SILVER PROOF LIBERTAD FRACTIONALS (1/20,1/10,1/4)
2007 08 15-pres kangaroos on card

https://share.brooklinen.com/x/RdX4ZK
Get $10 free at Coinbase!
https://www.coinbase.com/join/595fcda9feff9f014857eb6e

1/20: 2011
1/10: 1994,2003
1/4: 1992,93
1/2: 1991



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- bigjohn
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!
MaxGravy wrote:
Who is this clown? Can't even spell "Duck"

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- SilverDoge
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- DRP270
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!
More lame jokes for your bemusement
How do you toast a sheep? "Here's to ewe."
Where did the sheep go after high school? The Ewe-niversity.
What do you call a lamb who does aerobics? Sheep shape.
I wish I could get better ones.

How do you toast a sheep? "Here's to ewe."
Where did the sheep go after high school? The Ewe-niversity.
What do you call a lamb who does aerobics? Sheep shape.
I wish I could get better ones.




- tdtwedt
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read the comments
I was just cracking up with the comments made 
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-04-1 ... ssile-name

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-04-1 ... ssile-name
Newbie Guidelines ---> viewtopic.php?f=10&t=5335
www.cashbackmonitor.com to find the best cashback %
'EC' stands for Engelhard Corporation
www.cashbackmonitor.com to find the best cashback %
'EC' stands for Engelhard Corporation
- skylersfriend
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!
A Little Canadian Humour
(About the same all over I bet)
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence (no, not THAT fence) at Government House. One is from Ottawa, another is from Toronto, and the third is from Montreal. All three go with an official to examine the fence.
The Ottawa contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900, $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Toronto contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. That's $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Montreal contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the government official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Montreal contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Toronto to fix the fence."
(About the same all over I bet)
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence (no, not THAT fence) at Government House. One is from Ottawa, another is from Toronto, and the third is from Montreal. All three go with an official to examine the fence.
The Ottawa contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900, $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Toronto contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. That's $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Montreal contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the government official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Montreal contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Toronto to fix the fence."
"Life is trouble. Only death is not. To be alive is to undo your belt and *look* for trouble."
"The human soul is heavy, clumsy, held in the mud of the flesh. Its perceptions are still coarse and brutish. It can divine nothing clearly, nothing with certainty"
- Zorba the Greek, Nikos Kazantzakis
- tdtwedt
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- BAJJERFAN
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!
North Dakota Bank Robbery
A hooded robber burst into a North Dakota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave North Dakota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off,
revealing the robber's face.
The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him.
The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak.
Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from North Dakota tentatively raised his hand and said,
"My wife got a pretty good look at you."
A hooded robber burst into a North Dakota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave North Dakota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off,
revealing the robber's face.
The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him.
The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak.
Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from North Dakota tentatively raised his hand and said,
"My wife got a pretty good look at you."
He who laughs last is slow-witted!
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