HUMOR Thread!!!

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tdtwedt
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby tdtwedt » Sat Feb 17, 2018

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There are more ways than one to skin a cat.

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skylersfriend
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby skylersfriend » Sat Feb 17, 2018

A man goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one Guinness.

The barman lines up shots and goes to get the Guinness.

When he comes back with the pint, all seven shots are gone.

The barman says: “Wow! You sure drank those fast.”

Paudie explains: "You would drink fast too if you had what I have.”

The barman asks: “What do you have?”




The guy reaches into his pocket and says: “Fifty cents!”



:duck: :duck: :duck: :duck: :duck: :duck: :duck:
Don't think of me as a cynic; I am an optimist with experience!
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“To think things out properly and fairly, a fellow's got to be calm and old and toothless: When you're an old gaffer with no teeth, it's easy to say: 'Damn it, boys, you mustn't bite!' But, when you've got all thirty-two teeth...” Nikos Kazantzakis..ZORBA THE GREEK

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MaxGravy
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby MaxGravy » Sun Feb 18, 2018

Screen Shot 2018-02-18 at 8.47.52 AM.png
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I'm clearly not very bright.

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tdtwedt
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby tdtwedt » Mon Feb 19, 2018

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There are more ways than one to skin a cat.

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Tractor Man
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby Tractor Man » Tue Feb 20, 2018

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The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence. Charles Bukowski
Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. Voltaire

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cmiller17363
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby cmiller17363 » Tue Feb 20, 2018

Tractor Man wrote:Image

Shew, rowdy night....
ImageImageImage

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tdtwedt
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby tdtwedt » Tue Feb 20, 2018

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There are more ways than one to skin a cat.

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tdtwedt
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby tdtwedt » Thu Feb 22, 2018

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There are more ways than one to skin a cat.

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rottiesforever
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby rottiesforever » Thu Feb 22, 2018

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director
to play at a graveside service for a homeless man.
He had no family or friends, so the service was to be
at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods,
I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone
and the hearse was nowhere in sight.
There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place.
I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.

I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends.
I played like I've never played before for this homeless man
And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep.
They wept, I wept, we all wept together.

When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car.
Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say,
"I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently, I'm still lost … it's a man thing.
Turtles all the way down

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MaxGravy
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby MaxGravy » Fri Feb 23, 2018

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I'm clearly not very bright.

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MaxGravy
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby MaxGravy » Sun Feb 25, 2018

Screen Shot 2018-02-25 at 7.24.48 PM.png
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I'm clearly not very bright.

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tdtwedt
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby tdtwedt » Wed Feb 28, 2018

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There are more ways than one to skin a cat.

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skylersfriend
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby skylersfriend » Fri Mar 02, 2018

Had to think about this one for a minute ;)
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Don't think of me as a cynic; I am an optimist with experience!
Image


“To think things out properly and fairly, a fellow's got to be calm and old and toothless: When you're an old gaffer with no teeth, it's easy to say: 'Damn it, boys, you mustn't bite!' But, when you've got all thirty-two teeth...” Nikos Kazantzakis..ZORBA THE GREEK

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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby justoneguy » Wed Mar 07, 2018

weren't listening were you.jpg
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DrMartin
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby DrMartin » Wed Mar 07, 2018

How about some science humor for y'all...

Once upon a research project, three guys were working together: an engineer, a chemist, and a mathematician. They're working in the lab together and all is well, when suddenly some papers in the filing cabinet catch fire!

The engineer says, "Don't worry guys, I've got this." He proceeds to get out the fire extinguisher and spray foam across the cabinet, the counter, the computer, their equipment, everyone and everything nearby - they spend the rest of the day cleaning up the mess.

The next day everyone is working, when the filing cabinet catches fire again! This time the chemist steps forward and says: "Don't worry guys, I've got this." He gets out a canister of carbon dioxide and surrounds the fire with a cloud of suffocating gas - as well as the entire lab! The department evacuates and they spend the rest of the day out on the front lawn until the room is able to air out.

The next day everyone is working again, with the filing cabinet wisely moved to the other side of the room. This works well enough, until suddenly the garbage can catches fire!

The mathematician jumps forward, it's his turn to shine. He waves off the others and says, "Don't worry guys, I've got this." He picks up the garbage can, dashes across the lab, and dumps the burning waste into the filling cabinet!

He puts his hands on his hips proudly and nods to his coworkers, "There we go! I've reduced the problem to a previously solved form."

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tdtwedt
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby tdtwedt » Thu Mar 08, 2018

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There are more ways than one to skin a cat.

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MaxGravy
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby MaxGravy » Fri Mar 09, 2018

We saw this truck on the hwy a few days ago and couldn't resist taking a pic. :lol:

acme-bricks.jpg
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I'm clearly not very bright.

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MaxGravy
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby MaxGravy » Thu Mar 15, 2018

"Don't forget to add some oil to the engine."

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I'm clearly not very bright.

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tdtwedt
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby tdtwedt » Thu Mar 15, 2018

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There are more ways than one to skin a cat.

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tdtwedt
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Re: HUMOR Thread!!!

Postby tdtwedt » Fri Mar 16, 2018

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There are more ways than one to skin a cat.


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