HUMOR Thread!!!

[tdtwedt]

[MaxGravy]

[tdtwedt]

[agnostic]

Stole this from ZH comments...
THE WINDY CITY TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART

60° F: Arizonans shiver uncontrollably; people in Chicago are still sunbathing.
50° F: Californians try to turn on the heat; people in Chicago plant gardens.
40° F: Italian sports cars won’t start; people in Chicago drive with the windows down.
32° F: Distilled water freezes; Lake Michigan water gets thicker.
20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats; people in Chicago throw on a light jacket.
15° F: People in Chicago have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0° F: All the people in Phoenix die. Chicagoans close the windows.
10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door to door.
25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates; people in Chicago get out their winter coats.
40° below zero: Washington, DC runs out of hot air; people in Chicago let the dogs sleep indoors.
100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated because they can’t start ‘DA car.’
460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale); people in Chicago start saying, ‘cold ’nuff for ya?’
500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Cubs win the World Series


Edit: of course it lacks its punch now that the Cubs HAVE won.

[tdtwedt]

[tdtwedt]

[tdtwedt]

[tdtwedt]

[Mechanic4hire3]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BcGsxILlmJl/

[tdtwedt]

[tdtwedt]

[MaxGravy]

[MaxGravy]

[tdtwedt]

[tdtwedt]

[fredzoyt]

A joke a friend told me.

Question: "What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?"
Answer: "Slap her."

Obviously not one for mixed company.

[fredzoyt]

[tdtwedt]

[tdtwedt]

[tdtwedt]